Cock Crew Ministries (CCM) was birthed in memory of my late husband for the sole purpose of providing a source of help, healing and validation for the hurt. Although my daughter seems to feel that some of you may take offense to the title, I guess that could be the case in many more instances. So, I take this opportunity to explain why "Cock Crew" was chosen. Then, I will try to blog daily about my life lessons with the hope that my painful and often misunderstood past will help someone else along this often lonesome and debilitating journey.
Cock: the condition of readiness...prepared for firing...set to release something
Crew: to cry out
Thus, I will attempt to share my autobiographical journal documenting the ebbs and flows of my life of love, marriage, sickness then death.
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The death of such an extraordinary individual seemed so premature. While I continued to grasp an understanding of the whole ordeal, for a long time I wrestled with the how's and why's. Although the answers eluded me, it has become clearer to me what my purpose is in all this.
You see, I was born 44 years ago for such a time as this and although I found myself in the midst of the most labored and agonizing pain of my life, my purpose was being fulfilled. As such, I am walking in my destiny - for this is my season, so it is for you.
When Carlton 
entered the hospital on April 22, 2006, I felt compelled to keep a daily journal. My purpose (I thought) was to keep track of everything going on concerning his treatment as well as things that were happening on the home front. I wanted Carlton to be able to read it when he was discharged home. I wanted him to see how blessed he was, particularly since he was so heavily sedated, and how God was continually providing for me and the kids while he was temporarily incapacitated. I had no doubt in my mind that he would recover and be back home with his family. Why wouldn't I believe it. This is the man I married 22 years and 2 children ago. He was a big, strong man who had just entered the prime of his life. We had plans - plans that were in the making when he suddenly took ill.
entered the hospital on April 22, 2006, I felt compelled to keep a daily journal. My purpose (I thought) was to keep track of everything going on concerning his treatment as well as things that were happening on the home front. I wanted Carlton to be able to read it when he was discharged home. I wanted him to see how blessed he was, particularly since he was so heavily sedated, and how God was continually providing for me and the kids while he was temporarily incapacitated. I had no doubt in my mind that he would recover and be back home with his family. Why wouldn't I believe it. This is the man I married 22 years and 2 children ago. He was a big, strong man who had just entered the prime of his life. We had plans - plans that were in the making when he suddenly took ill. 